The Ultimate Compliment

May 15, 2006
Dear Craig,

I should have taken you and the gangs offer to crash in the bat cave last night. Or should I have? Hmmm… No one thought, when I decided to make the commute home last night that it was too late for a young woman to be traveling in the big city by herself. None of us consider the grave consequences of an after midnight adventure. After all, it was only half past twelve on a quiet Sunday night. What could happen? No, no one thought of the dangers…but we didn’t think of the possibilities either!
Say what you will about the L train. Or let me say it for you: it sucks. Screw you, L train. Don’t get me wrong, if you are a fan of those painfully bright, very very very well air-conditioned, over-crowded cars that make up the L, forgive me. I agree, the L, hey! Sounds great – in theory. Might be wonderful, if the damn train ran when it was supposed to.
Now I understand having to wait an exceptional amount of time for the train last night, seeing as that it was Sunday and our attention should be focused on God or something like that. But that is just what I am getting to. For one gentlemen at the L train station, I think God was probably on his mind and definitely on his lips as he eventually was repeating, “Oh God, oh God, oh God.”
It all started as I was walking down the steps of the station to go to the train, I passed this gentlemen standing quietly, apparently waiting for someone. I made eye contact for a second and continued down the stairs. I found a place to stand, a comfortable distance from the other patiently waiting passengers and chose some music to listen to on my ipod. A moment later, I noticed my new pal that I had passed on the stairs, coming down the other staircase on the opposite side of the track. He went half way down and picked a step to sit on. Smart guy, I thought. Rest your feet while you wait for the train. With me in clear view of him and him of me, I focused my gaze in no specific direction and let my dazed mind drift off into the music.
I used to think that a girl traveling alone must make sure to avoid eye contact. Don’t let anyone think your sending them invitations or signals or anything. But I now believe, a glance around once in awhile, even if you’re so ready for bed, is a good idea. Stay alert. Be aware of others and what is going on around you. I say this for a very specific reason.
As I felt the breeze being made from the long awaited oncoming train, I looked up again at my gentlemen friend, relaxing on the steps, on the other side of the track. Turns out he had made himself more than comfortable as he sat and prayed to God. Only, it was what he was doing while he was praying that made me pray too.
About fifteen seconds before my train arrived I looked up to find that this man had pulled down his pants, spread his legs, and was jerking himself off – while staring at me from across the tracks. Oh God! My immediate reaction was to jump a little in horror at the so clearly visible and disturbing site. As I hid behind a pillar while the L pulled into the station, I rethought my initial response.
My second thought was that I should pull out my – phone, and take a picture. Wouldn’t it be great if you had instant gratification by getting a visual of the incident? But I think there is too much gratification going on here. Also, I didn’t want this man to think that this situation didn’t totally freak me out! So no picture.
As I settled in a seat on the train, feeling like I would never feel clean again, I thought about how brave that guy was. I would feel sorry for the person that would have to make the decision to either pass him as he pleasured himself on the stairs, while they were on their way to the train, or see him and wait for him to finish, risking missing their train. Apparently he didn’t care either way and had no concern for arriving commuters.
After a good nights rest which came after I took a cab (I learn quick) after I got off the L, to my front door – I came to my most recent feelings about the event. I decided that it was the ultimate compliment. What an awesome expression of attraction, “Oh, Hilary? Yeah, man. She’s the kind of girl that makes you drop your pants in public and get off when you see her.” Sorry do I feel for the girls that just “stop traffic.” Big deal. A tall drink of water? So what?! Drop dead gorgeous? I should be so lucky! If there isn’t immediate sexual arousal followed by the uncontrollable need to touch yourself, I’m just gonna think you’re not really that into me.
In fact, Craig darling, if the next time you say I look nice and it is not quickly followed by you dropping trow and jerking off – I’m just going to assume that you don’t really mean it.

With sincere affection,
Hilary